My fascination with food lies not in the new discoveries of fancy cooking or latest fusions of 'exotic' flavours (by whose definition are we labeling 'exotic'?). My fascination with food is the same as Capon's intrigue behind the unassuming process of thickening the sauce in "The Supper of the Lamb": "Yet for all its commonness—or, more accurately, precisely because it is common, it is one of the most deeply satisfying processes of all. Only miracle is plain; it is the ordinary that groans with the unutterable weight of glory".

In our modern world that preaches self-love and self-care, the instinct to just push aside the critical parts makes total sense. But by suppressing or ignoring parts of us, we tend to see them return stronger and more vicious when they sense an opportunity to re-emerge.

Compassion is more effective than criticism at creating motivation, drive, and passion.

Here’s the TL;DR, I often say it’s a more holistic approach that intentionally integrates spirituality and cultural forces into your ever-evolving relationship with faith and God. But if you're open to a longer reflection, I invite you to read on.

Religious decolonization creates space for cultural, familial, and historical nuance while still making room for relationships.

At first, leaving can feel like freedom, putting distance between ourselves and the places where pain once lived. But in moving away from trauma, we also move away from parts of ourselves.

Maturity asks something different of us: the capacity to stay, to remain present, and to repair relational ruptures as they arise.

Right around the time that I joined Therapy on Fig, I also started a podcast, “TCM Talk Therapy", with Dr Jennifer Ng. 

As I reflect on my past year, I wanted to share 3 pieces of wisdom I’ve learnt so far in creating the podcast.

We communicate all the time, with our words or silence, with our body language or inattentiveness, with our DMs and memes, or with the way we type a text. 

So what's the real issue? What are you really trying to say to your partner? 

And the responsibility for communication isn't just on the speaker, but on the listener too. 

I believe that knowing your purpose can offer an anchor in life’s many storms. Yet there are many anchors beyond purpose.

The shadow of being free to define your own purpose is that when it doesn’t come easily, it can start to feel like something’s wrong with you, as if you haven’t done enough inner work to earn it.

In my own journey, as well as in the stories of friends and clients who identify as TCK/ATCK, adulthood adds a whole new layer of complexity to our already complex childhood experiences.

As a therapist who identifies as TCK/TCA/ATCK, I find that ATCK clients often breathe a sigh of relief when they meet someone who "gets it."

Systemic and historical barriers in America have contributed to the additional mental load.

Macro-contexts shape who we are, from our epigenetics to our upbringing and personal beliefs.

Larger systemic forces aside, internal micro/daily forces create additional pressure on a multicultural couple compared to a monocultural couple. 

Interracial couples experience more mental loads than monoracial or monocultural couples.